| Commemorative Coin |
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| 01:25pm 21/06/2008 |
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Electro-pop is where I hide
Where idealism and realism collide
Brief lapses in self-consciousness
Ignite an unusual spark of confidence
But I don’t need to feel
Like any of this is right or wrong
I don’t believe in dichotomy
I believe in song!
The problems we have
They’re here to stay
I can’t change your mind
So I’m moving away
Dismantle my shrines
Devoted to colour and shape
‘cause I’m so comfortable here
I can’t escape
The internet
It’s just a business transaction
Too much talk
And too little action
A million acquaintances
But not a single friend
Felling like it’s a means
Without any end
I can’t stay anchored
To all these memories
I’ll write them into
My little auto-biographies
Are you sick?
You say you’re unwell
But until I became aware
I couldn’t tell |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Colostomy Centrifuge |
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| 10:12pm 28/04/2008 |
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we take what we do seriously,
Then it all ends mysteriously,
Heaven may forgive,
But only we can change the way we live.
the vice of approval seeking
Ends in our self-defeating
Patterns dragging me beneath
Throwing away my sense of relief
Tall poppies in fallacy garden
Their limbs flex but roots hardens
Breaking men's spirit like concrete
Chained by hands and by feet
Tempting disaster with dragon torch
Protesters litter your front porch
Waste sold back for scrap
Their reward is the conscience we lack
The axis wobbles and day elongates
As the dream opens the flood gates
The crow crows for salvation
Then reality breaks my observation |
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Post |
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| Pissed Off |
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| 12:19am 24/03/2008 |
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While looking for samples to use on my upcoming "anti-dredging" EP...I saw you tube comments regarding the dredging all the anti-dredging protesters are being called "tree-huggers". This mindless right-wing slandering shows the complete lack of understanding of the reasons for the protests IE. MAINLY BECAUSE THE PROJECT IS NOT ECONOMICALLY VIABLE. Also, the correct term for an anti-dredging protester would be a "sea-sponge hugger", since there are no trees in the bay.
But due to the lack of protest against the dredging I can only assume that people are generally dismissive about everything...because they are instantly dismissive of anyone who CARES about the environment or where our tax-dollars are being wasted. The only people they trust is a corrupt, secretive and pro-business government...as there seems to be the dangerous assumption/logic being made/used that the project MUST have some financial benefits or else why would it be approved.
Anyone who has had the most briefest glance at the information availible...can see that the profit margin for the project is small and based purely on speculation...while the environmental data is misleading since there is no precedent for the dredging and dumping of contaminated waste in the relatively confined spaces of a bay like Port Phillip. This is because the guidelines for ocean disposal are being applied, despite the obvious fact that Port Phillip is NOT an ocean and is not suited to accommodating the 2-3 million cubic meters of contaminated silt that has accumulated as a result of 100 years of industrial dumping in the Yarra.
It is also worth mentioning that the cost savings of bringing even more goods directly to the city will be lost as there is already traffic gridlock...it does not make sense to make this port the largest in the country as all the goods will have to travel though the city and urban areas to be distributed creating problems with pollution, noise and congestion...but ultimately lost money in delays, wasted time, wasted fuel and extra costs of upgrading roads to accommodate the extra cargo traffic.
Also the economic "windfall" of 2 billion dollars is spread over a 20 year period which means only 50 million a year profit...if you divide this profit by the 5 million inhabitants of victoria...this means 10 dollars a year for each person per year. This figure drops to around 8 dollars if you divide by 6 million which our population will be closer to by then.
But even an 8 dollars a year benefit won’t even eventuate! If there is an economic recession and/or the Australian dollar drops back to it’s old 50cents US level, no one will be importing as much so this will further erode that 8 dollars a year. Then you have to factor in the immediate losses to tourism and diving industries caused by the dredging...the cost of maintenance dredging which will have to be done but hasn’t even been approved yet...then you have to factor in the fact that eventually the port infrastructure will have to be moved to Westernport eventually anyway when the next generation of ships is developed...so taxpayers will have to pay a few billion for that project as well..and remember we haven’t even yet CONSIDERED any potential cost of SOMETHING going WRONG.
So all up people are happy to wager their environment and the health of future generations and an entire ecosystem for a couple of dollars a year over 20 years. So our government has decided that it is more economically rational to spend more 1 to 1.5 billion dollars on a project that will probably only benefit individuals about 80 dollars each in total. Hence I assert that it would have been cheaper to just GIVE EACH PERSON $80 NOW...as this would only have cost a half a billion dollars!!!
Not only would this be better financially...as it would save wasting a billion dollars on an environmentally damaging white-elephant scheme...it would also be a more egalitarian solution because the people who would otherwise get the profits from the project will be the ports and shipping corporations and NOT the average person.
I doubt any savings the ports make in increased efficiency will be passed on to consumers in the form of lower freight charges...and even if they were the consumers will not notice as in the next 20 years the price of oil will probably sky-rocket meaning all shipping and trucking costs will rise astronomically regardless of channel deepening.
I feel so proud (sarcasm) to live in a state where people find the potential of being "given" 4-8 dollars each, per year, over the next 20 years more lucrative enough to sell out our natural resources. At the current rates of inflation we won’t even be able to buy a fucking hamburger with the 8 dollars we are given in the year 2028. Maybe the Government should just buy everyone a Mc Donald’s burger every year...since people don’t mind swimming in toxic waste...I’m sure they wouldn’t mind eating it instead.
The average Victorian has more chance of winning an instant-lottery "scratchie" than they have of benefiting or seeing any benefits from this absurd project, yet people support it because votes are cheaper to buy than ever before!!!
Besides a renowned musician-activist ex-greenie Mr Garrett has signed off on the plan. What more support could the project need (sarcasm) than a complete hypocrite signing off on the environmental management plan at the bequests of business lobbyists and his advisers without even reading the documents or the report. Nice back-flips about uranium mining and US military bases as well Peter Garrett...you should have become an Olympic gymnast instead of a politician. Moron.
Australian Labor Party*: A party that once had principles but recently abandoned the few remaining principles it held in order to win the votes of a paranoid electorate who’s moral compass was switched-off by a magnetic field of ignorance created by record levels self-imposed of personal debt.
* 50 years ago, when people were more honest, parties changed their names and splintered to reflect their new ideological viewpoints...but now it is common practice to sell new-ideologies under old brand-names in order to maintain a large supporter base. This phenomona is paralled in the consumer goods paradigm where poor-quality goods are now commonly marketed under what were once respectable and trustworthy brand-names in order to push new products on more discerning and dogmatic customers. |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| LYRICS FOR NEW ALBUM |
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| 08:17am 17/03/2008 |
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Artist: Endangered Species?
Compiling my "Best of" cd has made me want to quit making music...but I want to go out on a bang...I want these songs to be that bang. Any suggestions on which verses to keep/scrap are welcome! Anyone who wants to re-structure or compose music is welcome…I’m a bit pissed off that the new instrumentals I’ve been writing sound totally shit…I haven’t received any guitar tracks yet either for the donations album…anyway I’m gonna try and get the lyrics for the new album done by Easter…so here are some of the lyrics and themes I’ve been playing with so far. Half of it was written last night and half extracted and edited from my notebooks. Certain songs have been attributed to the appropriate side project.
GENTRIFICATION BOOGIE - B.Cautious
"Wrote this song this morning in response to Ultra Violet MC’s blog post...I probably won’t use it unless I do it as a B cautious side project track."
On stage there’s a beautiful girl making art
Bogans walking in say she must be a tart
They’d prefer she was a stripper instead
With drugs, instead of ideas in her head
Give her a pole and a hundred dollar bill
Because patriarchy looms large…still
They wanna define you by gender, race and age
Perform like a trained monkey on stage
So you can be who they expected you to be
When they entered a venue, cover charge free
Because superficial people only see fashion
They don’t know how, to recognize passion
Style is a commodity that you can trade
Substance means nothing in this world we’ve made
That’s why Madonna was the "material girl"
Nothing deep or meaningful in her world
Obsessed with sex and lacking imagination
Seeking out sub-cultures for appropriation
Conforming to a man’s idea of how women should behave
In control of her sexuality but economically still a slave
Self-empowered by pandering to expectations
While state-power drowns out our celebrations
People can’t distinguish between virtual and real
That’s why Bollinger rapped about the "reality deal"
Objectified, an image; submissive and mute
For you to project yourself upon and shoot
You know if you did this in public there’d be an objection
People get upset if they see you just showing affection
Shocked that you don’t possess right wing ideology
The "ANZAC sprit" of blind allegiance to authority
Pre-gentrification, just used to be ferals and freaks
Then they put up the rents and oh how money speaks
People want convenience, not cultures
Real estate agents swooping in like vultures
As the suburbs move to the inner-city
Venues get shut down, the vibe gets shitty
Too many people without an education
Empowered by money into this situation
Without realizing that their spirit is void
Living dangerously close to things they want to avoid
Like meth-addicts and the gay community
Writing to the herald-sun at every opportunity
To complain about the culture that THEY created
Full of alcoholism, violence and hatred
Hypocrites who don’t believe in alternatives
Worshipping the economy and voting conservative
Believing that art shouldn’t be made
That talent can only be expressed though a trade
If something’s not top-40 then it’s no good
Pack mentality invading your neighborhood
As we try in vain to maintain diversity
They rent a dredger to threaten life in the sea
But this adversity we face only makes us stronger
The battle just has to wage a bit longer
Generations before us and generations to come
The resistance won’t stop till our freedom’s won
We’ll fight the status-quo and misconceptions
Keep making art and asking questions
Because we don’t get paid, we do it for free
So no one can tell us who we can or can’t be
Accept the reality this is who we are
Don’t confuse me with some celebrity superstar
FRANKSTON GIRLS - CAM SALAD AND THE EQUIVALENTS
Frankston Girls work at savers
Slash their wrists with razors
Frankston girls skinny and lean
Frankston girls pregnant at sixteen
Frankston Girls, never go to school
Frankston girls, break every rule
Frankston girls, always high on drugs
Frankston girls, got some nasty bugs
Howard’s baby bonus of five grand
Going to any junkie with a pram
His tough on drugs policy is a joke
Instead of buying nappies, they buy lines of coke
To mc donalds they go to eat
in the queue at centerlink every week
Got a boyfriend in jail and a black eye
At Kannanook station looking for ice to buy
Screaming at their kids, beating them senseless
It’s the frankston way, to attack the defenseless
Look at these people, all full of hate
Don’t miss your opportunity to escape
SOMEONE NEEDS TO TELL KIDS THE TRUTH
*Chorus*
Even if you don’t have the internet
It doesn’t make you any less beautiful
Even if you eat out of bins
It doesn’t make you any less beautiful
Even if you never shave
It doesn’t make you any less beautiful
Even if you don’t love me
It doesn’t make you any less beautiful
Even if you don’t have a job
It doesn’t make you any less beautiful
Even if you made a mistake
It doesn’t make you any less beautiful
Even if you voted liberal
It only makes you a little less beautiful
Even if you don’t love me
It doesn’t make you any less beautiful
*Unused ideas*
My art can’t change the world
My heart can’t win no girl
I think of you when I feel alone
But you’re not an item I can take home
There’s substance behind your style
Your advertisements weren’t misleading
I used to be a skeptic but now
I’ve started believing
You’re communicating
And I’m receiving
You want to be here
But I’m leaving
You’re like a painting on a gallery wall
I want to touch you but I can’t at all
This is the future and we never touch
Virtual romance is just not enough
AUSSIE PRIDE – PART 1
Aussie pride? who gives a fuck!
You root women, you get blind drunk
You worship heroes, who are mostly dead
Don’t have an original thought in your head
Aussie pride? I don’t give a fuck!
Racist politicians don’t need good luck
It’s a cultural vacuum, being yourself is bad
Sucked up the hose and into the bag
Blind allegiance and sacrifice glorified
The real reason the ANZAC’s died
Was to ensure corporate control
over our mediocre lives
They’re elected, no-one asks why
Their policies are the same world-wide
Just so long as the economy booms
And the abstract threat of terror looms
Under-educated and too naive
They don’t understand they just believe
Believe in a benevolent system
That keeps us all in a virtual prison
Multiculturalism?
If you don’t like it, LEAVE!!!!
You see I can use that logic too...
Take your racism someplace overseas!
AUSSIE PRIDE – PART 2
Yes I appreciate all this country has today
But do we have to be the a proxy state of the USA?
And why don’t people identify cause and effect
Multinationals are more of a threat
A threat to our culture which used to be unique
Before television told us what to think, feel and eat
Immigrants don’t have any power or influence
We just attack easy targets who have no defense
Aboriginal land stolen for financial gains
Beneath our noses and no-one complains
Species wiped out for the sake of progress
While we turn against those who are closest
We wave flags and drink ourselves to death
While boasting that "We are the best"
It’s un-australian to state the bleedin’ obvious
We’d all be a lot happier if we had a whole lot less
We grow rich at other’s expense
Selling uranium to India for their defense
One day those bombs might fall on us
Like Menzies and BHP
Selling iron to the enemy
Where are the unions and their conscience
And most importantly the worker’s bravery
Yeah I was a proud Australian in 1939
When they refused to load those ships
And the horrors of war were still fresh in the mind
People had first hand experience of land-mines
But not now, where we just do as we’re told
And every resource can be brought and sold
To be used for any purpose
Human life rendered worthless
Chicken-hawks turning our society
Homogenized with no variety
Politicians afraid to cross the floor
Workers can’t afford to strike anymore
No one remembers how we came to this
There’s a show on TV we can’t miss
I used to be proud to be an Australian in 1939
But this land is just a concentration camp now, it’s not mine
Just a place to install pine-gap military installations
And mine resources on aboriginal reservations
I used to be a proud Australian before Andrew Bolt
Decided that nothing was our fault
I used to be a proud Australian before peter garrett
Joined Labor and turned himself into a parrot
I used to be a proud Australian before John Howard
Was elected three times in a row by cowards
I used to be a proud Australian before I found out
Bracks was signing contracts he wasn’t telling anyone about
I used to be a proud Australian in 1983
When they stopped the franklin dam from being built
But now Gunns are cutting down trees
half of tasmania -
is being turned into fucking paper
I used to be a proud Australian
But now I’m feeling like an alien
Because there’s nothing left here to save
So I’m saving up for a beautiful grave
Unused verse:
They say not to fund terrorism
But every purchase of heroin does!
Junkies and crooked cops funding the taliban (should they be arrested?)
We can’t grow opiates in a free country because they’re banned!
NET ECONOMIC BENEFIT (For the water damage EP)
(Draft ideas – part 1) Not all the issues covered here – need to draw up a matrix to ensure I don’t forget anything for next draft!
In a coma for ten years
Chasing impossible dreams
Unaware of the decay
Without an end, just a means
When I woke up
Everything I’d lived for was gone
We’d been taken for granted
For just a moment too long
Now I speak the language of art
Not violence
I don’t wanna release records
I wanna break the silence
Scenery took the place
Of what was a habitat
And I knew in my heart
I just couldn’t live like that
With all my communications
Filtered through your expectations
The fruits of my inspiration
Fall on wounded imaginations
No one’s standing between
The dredger and the bay
Another public space commodifed
Papers have nothing to say
Peter Garrett’s just a puppet
To win the election
Business comes first
Not environmental protection
Andrew bolt says we’ll be laughed at
When we’re proved wrong about this stuff
Like we’re just children crying for attention
And we’ll shut up if ignored for long enough
Two million cubic meters of contaminated waste
Dredged up and spread by the tides
and no one will be able to connect
cause and effect,
with the problem spread so wide
Our means of communication
Are all up for sale
This means no matter our intentions
We’re destined to fail
So if we can’t win
Then we have to survive
Because there’s not much to live for
If you’re not even alive (if biodiversity dies)
Drugged out of your mind
Too busy to be aware
Got so much going for you
You can afford not to care
Our goals are realistic
Our ambitions are small
But we can’t afford
To drop the ball
The only thing on our side
Is time
I don’t want to own anything
That isn’t mine
The japanese are hunting whales
Yeah we like to complain
But what are the whales gonna eat
When we extinguish their food chain
Who’s more inhumane?
Who’s gone insane?
Sanity is a handicap
In this modern world
I don’t need perscriptions
Understanding eases the pain
I like to feel the shivers crawl
Up my spine into my brain
Someone so dishonest
How can we be asked to trust?
Can’t they just admit
There’s nothing in it for us
This dream can’t last you know
The status quo has got to go
Your growth is what we call decay
You’ll have to wake up one day
My dad’s ashes are scattered in that bay
I wonder what he’d have to say
He’d probably say he didn’t care
He’s swallowed murcury, lead, DDT and he’s still here
...but then suddenly he wasn’t
And I was just eleven
And he was a complete arsehole
Why do I care about the bay?
Well my father’s ashes are spread there
So it’s a fucking sacred site
But nothing’s sacred
And progress is always right (cue sarcasm)
Short Poems From moleskin notebook circa Sept-0ct 2007
(These are more traditional James Earthenware Style)
LEG FETISH
Hey girl...
Your skirt’s so short
Makes me wanna file
A sexual harassment report
GENTRIFY THIS!!
Buildings of character, repainted grey
Cashed up bogans, are here to stay
I POD GIRL
She looks nice, I’d like to try my luck
But I’m too polite to interrupt
And tell her how nice it would be
If she could share her files with me
On the Ipod or on the phone
People in crowded spaces act like their alone
Never before has technology had such and effect
Helping humans disconnect
Everyone needs a reality suppression device
Ignore the world around you for a bargain price
Stick these earphones in your head
Mp-3’s drown out all those nice things I said
NO MYSTERY
This ain’t no magic trick
I pick up my pen and cut sick
DIMINISHED AMBITIONS
It’s my life ambition to one day
Write a song that rhymes
"Communist manifesto"
With "Hey Presto"
SHOPPING ONLINE
I’ve lost my soul. I’ve lost my mind
I do all my shopping online
I prefer real stores but don’t have the time
I work all day and shop online
Got too much money, it needs to be spent
I’ve found a way to waste dollars and sense
Express postage and exchange rates
International shipping, I can’t wait
I have found that the only things I want
Are the products that shops don’t stock
I got a crush on the girl at the counter
But now I don’t have to worry about her
’cause I...shop online
shop online
Waste my money
But not my time
Shop Online
Shop Online
Waste my money
But not my time
SLEEPER
Sleep deprevation
An auto-clave
One to wear
And one to save
JAMES REALLY SATISFIES
I should be satisfied with tears
All I have to show for all these years
I should be satisfied with tears
I wasn’t meant to live like my peers
EVER LIVED NEAR A PULP MILL MR GARRETT? -
Syd Delicious and the Severed Taste Buds
Peter Garrett, what a joke
Labor gives voters false hope
Apologize for the stolen generation
But don’t stop the exploitation
Because there’s too much money at stake
For anyone to hit the brake
Business still comes first
Growth for growth’s sake until we burst
Peter Garrett, all the songs you wrote
Now you’re employed to get the green vote
First two documents that you sign
Say pulp mills and dredging are fine
Peter you’re a hypocrite
Why don’t you resign?
You’d stand as an independent
If you had any balls or a spine
All those songs you wrote
About power and corruption
Now you dictate
And follow the same instruction
Blue wedges verses peter garett
In this federal court-room I sit
And I wonder where all these musicians are
Say they care about these issues
People think John Butler cares
Just because he’s got dreadlocks in his hair
But he’s a part of the corporate machine
He’s got tours to play and albums to sell
And that’s why musicians will never be seen
In the courtrooms where decisions are made
In the parliaments where the public are betrayed
You opposed US alliance and now you’ve "matured"
You want our borders to be secured
You opposed uranium mines but now they’re okay
Turn-around like from night to day
You were a rebel, but now you’re cured
Christian beliefs and matured
You’re a part of the team
You don’t hold any beliefs of your own
Powerless and passionless
On triple M your songs still play
Three or four times a day
Reminding all the people who voted you in
How hypocritical you’ve been
Peter Garrett wants power
Credibility just has to go
Undo your last 30 years of work
Now you’re just a party ho
Environment not worth saving
Not worth as much as the company’s paying
Now you believe in Jesus
You think Jesus be saving that shit for you
**Stop music – spoken word bit*
""And so jesus came back to earth and performed miracles...he turned radioactive waste into bottled water"
ANARCHIST LEGAL NATIVE - Aerosol Dandruff
Imagine if the aboriginies, were allowed
To govern themselves, they’d be proud
There wouldn’t be no-one molesting their kids
Cuz they’d spear any cunt who did
But white man’s laws, they don’t work
There’s no deterrent and the victims get hurt
Truck-stops, prostitutes as young as eight
But they don’t speak out or set the record straight
You’ve gotta break the addiction to getting high
Before you can break the silence and testify
If you don’t need drugs you don’t need cash
Pull your self-respect out of the trash
If it was white kids raped there’d be an outcry
But they’re black so you turn a blind eye
Deterrents don’t work with people with nothing to lose
We don’t need a million laws because ultimately we choose
Paranoid people obsessed with security
Wanting to take away any sense of personal responsibility
For the decisions and choices that we make
True freedom is the freedom to make mistakes
unused:
TI’s employed on the train to intimidate
Anyone who got the wrong ticket by mistake
They install surveillance, it’s not for security
It’s so they can show you getting your ass kicked on TV
GIVE IT A DAY - James For Life
There comes a time
In everybody’s life
When they’d rather be
dead than alive
But give it a day before you decide
A lot can change in that time
You can’t change the world
But you can choose to make the most of the tools you’ve been given
It ain’t good enough to be selfish and just to stop living
Some things are too good to last
And bad things are just as transient
Try not to prolong them if you can
Give it a day
Don’t give it away
They wanna keep you feeling down
Fuck with their program and turn it back around |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| Preceeding Post No Post Non Post Secretive Post Prelude |
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| 01:15am 19/02/2008 |
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mood: manic music: Guided By Voices - Self Inflicted Aerial Nostalgia
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Great things that have happened lately:
Alissa became our new housemate so she could do her fashion design course in brunswick without having to commute 3hrs each way...which forced me to complete phase one of the "crap eradication plan"
Managed to salvage some space in the lounge and set up Hayley's TV and couch so Alissa and Wayno can sit and watch TV!!! (* watching of TV is an unheard of event in our household, except for every 4 years when I watch the soccer world cups)
Phase 2 of the "crap eradication plan" has been put on hold while I spend a month spending my savings and catching on approximately two or 3 years of social activities, which I've been managing to fit in around my "off days" because my Crohns disease is still bothering me but I'm managing it by limiting my food intake to just one meal a day...I will have to go to the doctor and get some different medication eventually so I can eat properly, get my energy up and look for some work etc. but I need to sort out my dis-trust issues with the medical profession before i do this.
Wayno brought whipper snipper around on weekend so I got the garden a bit more under control, although I miss it being a mess because I like it a bit shabby as it's a kinda rebellion against all the posh mansions and shit in this area. But that's the good thing about plants...they grow back. EXCEPT the ones in pots...they die all the time. Plants in pots are like animals in captivity.
Wayno also copied about 200 of my cd's to MP-3 for me because I have no time to do it.
Speaking of my friends from the Latrobe Valley...Andrew will soon be moving to melbourne...I can't wait to catch up with him again.
Mat dropped in on his way home from work...or on his way to another job I think...he had some crazy speaker /Pa system set up in his work van so he did an icecream-truck impersonation which actually lured me outside to see what the hell was going on...and it was lucky he did that because the front door bell is broken and so I wouldn't have heard him otherwise!
Jimi ordered the Ian Svenonius book for me "the psychic soviet" and it's the best book i've ever read and probably will remain my favorite book until I die. It explains how rock music and art have been used over the last couple of hundred years to promote and reinforce bougise capitalist ideology. It has helped me clarify and understand a lot of the inner-conflicts and self-doubts I was having about creating art. I have developed some new theories and anarchist rants on the subject however i am keeping them private until they are more refined and sussinct.
I've made some new friends...under my new policy of working with people instead of computers...
Kana is a very cool Japanese singer who had an ad in melband forums...she's translating my song "witchcraft" into japanese so I can sing a bilingual version...plus we're going to practice a couple of my songs to play live. So i've gotta learn the music for those tracks.
She also invited me to see the Ex-pat Japanese rock band "Orochi" play at a battle of the bands at revolver. It was one of the best 15 minute sets I've ever seen in my LIFE! Traditional costumes, make up, dancing around stage with fucking samurai swords...heavy riffs...ballads...traditional samurai chants...wireless microphones. It was like seeing a stadium rock gig...only it was scarier because I'm standing a couple of meters from a swinging sword and what was even more threatening and unusual to find in Australia...people totally dedicated and committed to their art!
Russell and I had a good time hanging out at the blue wedges protest at state parliament...ended up getting some food and drink afterward and discussing the philosophy and criticisms of the scientific method. Also ran into one of Hayley's friends (Adam) who is into casios and micro-music / minimalist-techno styles.
Also, met one of Russell's ex-bendigo friends...Lucinda...(Hi If you are reading this!) We spent this afternoon making her myspace look black and shiny and un-myspace looking! I was pretty pleased with the result...but I think when the time allows I should get back into learning more about web graphics and html code so I can get even better at doing this. Basically since the government denied my funding application to make a proper website...I'm stuck with using myspace as my home,and so are a few of my friends so I may as well learn how to make it as easy on the eyes as possible.
We had a good discussion about music...and possibilities for collaborations. Lucinda made a great point that the HTML code for the myspace page looked like a page of performance poetry. I'm sure if I had of noticed this when I was studying HTML i probably would have been able to retain a bit more of the information in my memory.
After Lucinda left, Hayley came over and cooked Jimi and I an outstandingly delicious vegetable ohmlette for dinner which I appreciated very much. (THANKYOU!!!) I wished her good luck on her 11 day trek through the wilderness!!! I hope it helps her sort out the issues she is dealing with and she comes back with a big sense of achievement! GOOD LUCK ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) ladybugoxo!!!
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Got a casiotone MT-600 on ebay for 90 bucks...finally have proper digital synth sounds from the late 80's and a pitch bend wheel that goes up AND down! The MT-600 lacks the programmable synthesis of it's HT-700 cousin...but instead has awesome accompaniments that are accessible via discreet midi channels, which is quite impressive considering Casio's usual illogical and impractical implementations of features. I've already installed a guitar strap on it because it's so much fun to play...I also ordered a very rare anatek pocket transposer from a music shop in switzerland so I can drop the octave of the unisynth when i use it as a controller. The MT-600 is the first sound module that has sounded good with the midi unisynth...probably because both instruments were made around the same time (1987).
Jimi, Edward, Hayley and I went and saw Trans-Am, The Scientists of modern music and Qua play.
I don't have time to write a proper review but it was a brilliant gig...it's not often you get to see three acts that are the best in their respective styles play in one gig at a venue as intimate as the east Brunswick club. I still prefer Trans-Am from 8 years ago when they had their analog drum-synths hooked up but those days are gone...understandably so as well...I can't imagine them lugging all that crap around...especially considering one of the reasons I don't play live is that my obsolete synth collection isn't travel-friendly! Got to have a good chat to Qua at that gig as well...he's my idol! He apparently played a warehouse party too afterwards...I wanted to go but had to accept that we were all too tired to stay up. That's the problem with getting old I guess :(
Went to the zine fair and spent 80 bucks on stuff. Very inspired to see that people who were making zines ten or twenty years ago are now putting out books and compilations of their zines! It's inspirational to see people building an audience for their art without any advertising or conforming to audience expectations or market forces. Very importantly I met TT.O who is an (Infamous) figure in the Aust. zine/poetry/self-publishing scene. I brought some original copies of his zines of migrant/worker poetry from the 1970's/80's and a biography he had published of the work of his friend, the dadaist/anarchist Australian poet Jas H Duke.
I've been reading this biography and can see many parallels between the work of Jas and myself, not so much in our work...but more the philosophy that motivates our work!!! TT.O is currently running a zine w/ monthly performance night of weird outsider art so I have to remember to write and contribute some stuff for the next issue. The best thing is that he still does it the same way as in the 80's...snail mail subscriptions and mailing lists...none of this new-fangled internet bullshit.
Going to the zine fair also gave me the best idea for a zine...I'll do one with Jimi as a spoken word / audio-zine. Then it solves a lot of logistical problems and time problems that we would have had if we made it a proper radio show or a paper-photocopied zine. I have ideas for people to interview as well...but I have no time at the moment to get it together. I'll probably keep the name "Head Grenade" because I still like it. Yeah...we're both really excited about doing it...whatever it ends up getting called.
While I was wasting money I brought some special paper to make new badges...since I've ran out of the designs Hayley and I made in 2005. It's about time for some new ones..so hopefully I'll be able to get down to sticky later this week and make em...but i need to spend a whole day cutting out the images first so I might not get around to it until next week. Anyone who wants a design or slogan printed up...send me the graphic or slogan so I can make one or two for you.
Alissa still needs the old wardrobe repaired since I said I'd fix it up for her so she could use it...and i need to get it out of the back area where it now sits so I can walk there again. Sometime this week I gotta get onto it. It's just a hassle traveling to hardware stores...not the hassle getting there...but I'm afraid to go to them now because I can't go into a hardware store without spending 100-150 dollars...it's annoying because I've become hyper-aware of all the things that need doing around the house...so i buy shit to help me do the work but I always either buy the wrong items or I get things for tasks I have no time to complete...so I need to be more rational and force myself to only buy the specific items I need for the task. When I was working I could write off this over-expenditure as a "research and development" cost but now I am no longer working there's no funds spare for just "Trying things out"
Oh yeah speaking of work...Wayne (from my old work) and his girlfriend Sabrina and his cousin Harry came and visited on Saturday and shouted me to a nice Mexican place in Elwood for a late lunch/early dinner. It was great to catch up with them. I thought the spicy food might upset my stomach but i don't think I had enough of it to upset me, had just enough to fill me up though...it was really nice!
I finally reduced my "best of" james earthenware CD down to ONE CD. Here's the stats:
* originally I had 8 hours of tracks selected.
* I reduced this to three CD's...one disc of my "Conventional" songs, one disc of "Experimental" songs and one disc of "Instrumentals".
* I was gonna release this under some new scheme I was spammed about on myspace that allows you to upload your albums and artwork...people pay on-line and the company only prints up the copies as they are ordered...this means no mass-production or set-up costs!!! The company takes a commission and sends out the CD to the customer! Brilliant.
* I then realized I still needed a "single" disc because I can't be burning 100 three-disc sets to use as promotional copies of my record.
* I cut most of the noisy/experimental stuff out of the disc because of the reality that no-radio station would play the noisy tracks. The noisy tracks also would be a problem as they interrupted the flow of the album because the other tracks were recorded digitally and electronically. So for both artistic AND commercial reasons the noisy stuff had to go. Don't get me wrong...there's some weird stuff on there...but it's the well-recorded weird stuff.
* To cut the "best of" down to one disc I had to remove tracks that would constitute my hip-hop (B Cautious) and Lo-fi (Steve Layout) side projects.
* I deliberately included as many collaborations as I could to deliberately disorientate the audience and so that listeners could experience the diversity of my songwriting and wouldn't necessarily know what to expect if they saw me live, or even if I was the singer ;)
* Next week if i can find the master copies of my wav files and if I can scrape some money together I'll be getting greg wadley to master it. With some of the tracks being recorded 8 years apart I need some extra help getting the edits and sound levels correct and balanced from track to track.
* artwork is done...will upload a copy/link?
Okay I'm tired...I need sleep...probably forgot some stuff but that's a rough idea of what I've been up to. Oh and please email me your postal address if you want CD's sent to you...if I received your email when I was working or extremely unwell in the first month of this year then I probably have misplaced it! I'll be going to a few gigs this week if I'm well enough to so txt me if you want to meet up on the other side of the Yarra!
Current Earthenware CD-R catalog:
SQ08-1 "perception management" best of 2002-2007 - unmastered (soon to be though...)
SQ08-2, 3, 4 "Natural Selection" (3 disc expanded best of)
SQ08-5 "The last 8 albums as 192kbps MP-3 files"
SQ08-6 "Repair, Install, Maintain" Special Edition CD-R w/ bonus "reverse engineers" rehearsal tracks
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| Where are they now |
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| 10:36pm 28/01/2008 |
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Just to prove triple j are useless motherfuckers at promoting and discovering new music...the band that won the Victorian unearthed comp...and the video clip comp..."**** ****" immediately broke up after and the frontwoman hasn't done shit since...now plays in some crap folk band that no one's ever gonna give a shit about.
I remember being totally pissed that band won because I'd seen them live and they were shit. (omg flashback - when I used to go out to gigs!) My entry didn't win...but that was no suprize since the songs I had then were dodgy...but at least I had a sense of humor...Andrew's song got shortlisted...but that's all he got and he's a fucking pop genius who can sing like jeff buckley.
Anyhow I win now...I did some googling and saw what the shit band (who I will not mention by name) died in the arse as soon as they won the comp.
In contrast, my songs are now good and I'm still committed to making the kind of music I make ten years later. Unlike the "winners" of the competition who can't do shit because they never had their hearts invested in what they were doing. It is typical of triple j to have selected a band that were "pretending" to play indie rock over all the 5 million "real" indie rock bands we had in this state...it's like they need artists who play with the least amount of passion and the least amount of talent to fit into their "no talent, no passion" playlists where being crap is misconstrued as being "edgy" and where lacking passion is interpreted as a "cool detachment or a sign of self confidence" |
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| MUSIC DONATIONS NEEDED FOR EARTHENWARE UNPLUGGED / FOLK ALBUM |
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| 11:20pm 17/01/2008 |
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I would like to have all my guitarist
friends to each send in a tune for me to sing over...it will be like
my "unplugged" album...yeah don't stress about recording it properly
or anything, tape hiss is fine, the tune doesn't have to be
good...because if it was good you'd want to keep it for
yourself...just needs to be something you could imagine me singing
over.
Please send me or drop off (at least) one shitty acoustic
guitar tune 1.5 to 4.5 mins long...please don't spend too long on
it...hopefully some of
you just have something in archives lying around.
Oh...don't be afraid to include cheesy hooks...that's what makes
acoustic stuff good...all the music is cliche so you can focus on the
words more. Sorta thinking of folk music where the melodies are all
the same but the words keep changing.
I'm currently writing a heap of rap stuff and just made the B cautious
rap page featuring all my new and old rap songs...
link: http://www.myspace.com/becautiousatalltimes
be warned however that the rap stuff is quite a different attitude to
my usual earthenware stuff...I've kinda dispensed with all the
self-pity and nostalgia to get into the more assertive hip-hop
mindset.
Also got a couple of new (depressing) songs up on the earthenware
myspace so you can hear what the new (depressing) stuff sounds like...
http://www.myspace.com/jamesearthenware
The old earthenware stuff that was naive and optimistic (circa 2004-5)
has been excommunicated to the "reverse engineers" myspace...
http://www.myspace.com/reverseengineers
Cheers
Happy New Year To Everyone...
x-posting this onto all my blogs |
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| Life |
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| 12:34am 06/01/2008 |
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I finally cleaned up my bedroom today...nothing in that room had been touched or sorted out for about 5-6 months. There was a partial clean out before wayne and alissa brought over the sofa bed but not anything permanent.
Now all the shit has been moved into what was the lounge room...which from now on shall be referred to as the "shit room" since it is full of my mum's shit, my shit from work, and real shit...being the kitty litter.
So tomorrow I will sort all that out...though the problem may need to get worse before it gets better. Then on Monday the skip arrives so I can throw out a heap of stuff.
The most frustrating thing about all this is that now my room is finally set up...it's set up is completely incompatible with my current objectives. I originally designed the room so Edward and I can do tech work in it and have enough room for camera crews to set up around us for filming the documentary footage. Anyhow, Edward and I are both working so there's been no time to do any tech work and it doesn't look like the US tour/documentary will be going ahead for us since my health has deteriorated, I've had no rehearsals and haven't had any word on our funding applications being approved. So basically I've set everything up for an event that isn't even happening so there's a lot of wasted space...I should enjoy the spaciousness...maybe I just don't enjoy it because it's a constant reminder of how every thing's fucked and how I allow my entire life to revolve around pipe-dreams and unachievable goals.
At least I won't be embarrassed to have people come over now all the mess is gone, thinking of having some kinda party/gig/film clip shooting in my bedroom. Simply because my digital camera records so well. The other benefit of having my bedroom set up is that I can sleep in here...not in the shit room...where the cats wake me up at 3am doing smelly turds.
Just caught up with Edward...it was great...I almost didn't make it because I was freaking out about a few things (including the heat) and writing new lyrics like a machine in the morning...but it was great to catch up...I told Edward about my new ideas for making music, that basically mean stripping things back to basics and setting new goals that are achievable considering our work/health situations.
Possible Reverse Engineers Press Release...
I think the good thing is that Edward and I are both kinda perfectionists. While it may be valid to criticize us for our lack of output...the fact remains that we are operating in a vaccumn with no one to support our research and development. Without support it is hard to "do things properly" and we both share a philosophy that things should be done properly or not at all. I think this is why we both idolize Robin. He is hardcore. He does things properly. I also think we are sick of destroying the equipment we experiment with by not doing things in a Robin-like manner.
I think our equation is complicated further by our medical problems...so not only do we need support, we need extra supportive environments just for day to day living. So basically our lifestyles are not suited to the typical "rock and roll" existence. So the question is "how can we maintain a presence in the music community while allowing room and time for work, rest and other day to day chores.
I think this is why most famous musicians are young...when you are young you have the time to develop your art and the energy to promote it. You also have no responsibilities so you can leave and go on tour whenever you like. It is just a sad irony that young people have nothing interesting to say in their songs...or at least I can't relate to it...because they haven't experienced enough of life to develop an interesting perspective.
Anyhow I have started work on a new concept album...the concept being relationships. I previously abhorred the concept of songs about relationships...but due to my new policy of doing things I haven't done before I'm giving it a shot. I'm finding it quite cathartic and empowering actually...you need to have a lot of courage to put down in writing...for other people to hear...things that you are too embarrassed to talk about to even your closest friends. It also solves the problem of my last album idea which was a rock opera with different characters...which I was finding it hard to write because it was going to be in third person...but now I realize that most of the "characters" I was going to use are simply just different sides to my own personality...so I can just write it all from 1st person and it comes out easier.
I'm also thinking of doing an acoustic guitar record...all my friends play guitar so maybe they can just send in some instrumentals and I'll overdub my voice.
I also have the next concept album lined up...based upon the "smoke vs water" comic that used to be in Inpress. I'm going to do a song for each comic then have the comic strips as the artwork for the CD. Luckily i was able to get in touch with the comic's creator before he went overseas...and he sent me all the comics in on CD AND in a printed out book!!! I already demoed one song..."Jobs For John" but it might need a bit of work.
FUCK YES!!! AS I TYPE THIS I HAD THE BEST IDEA!!!
I should combine the "acoustic/folk" album with the "comics" idea...that will save me having to write music for the thing...if all my friends send me 3 tracks each I should have the majority of the album sorted...and I can just focus on what I'm good at...(writing the lyrics) This will mean that it will be finished sooner...and I'll be able to go into February with two new albums. Once that is out of the way i should be able to start work on the "singles" project and saving money to make a short run of James Earthenware "best of" CD's. The trackisting for the best of is almost finished...although I think I'd like to further reduce it from 3 CD's to just two. The "Instrumental" disc is perfect...and so is the "Experimental" disc. The first disc needs a bit of work...I'm thinking of maybe doing a couple of extra tracks to put on it...especially Mat's disco track that is begging me to add some vocoder it.
anyhow it's well past my bedtime...I'm gonna go and pass out. |
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Read 4 - Post |
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| Working , Illness, Friendships, Football, Dredging, ANZAC's. |
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| 07:36am 03/01/2008 |
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My new years resolution is to stop fear from pre-determining all my actions and responses to situations. To this end, I have already done several things that are completely counter-intuitive to me. I think my intuition is corrupted by conditioning so the only way to break out of conditioned behavior is to be a bit random and reactionary. It's a big accomplishment just being able to approach things with a different mindset. Hmm...speaking of weights being lifted from my shoulders...
i quit my job...I wanted to stay there another month to keep building up my fund for buying "toys" but the boss gave me the ultimatum to decide whether I was staying or not so that they could train someone else up in the new year. (Because "part time" is not an option at that place) I left on good terms and they said they'd be happy to have me back again if another position arose and if my health was good enough that I could handle a full time job again. What sucked however was that I didn't get to say farewell to people there...I was very inspired by the fact that I was able to form friendships with a few of the people there...because when I began I didn't think it was possible...since I don't sort of fit into that culture very well.
I guess that friendships are like a circular scale...if you don't know anything about someone...you tend to fear/hate them...but once you get to know people most people are alright or at least have some redeeming traits...but then if you live with someone you usually end up getting to know them TOO well and end up hating them again. There are obviously exceptions to this simplistic concept but I think somewhere in the middle of a bell curve...there is healthy medium of correlation between how much you know about someone and your empathy for them.
In regards to my health I'm going to see if I can see an osteopath about the pain in my calves. I think I must have broken something shifting heavy objects at work, because it doesn't feel like a normal strain and hasn't got better like a normal strain would. Now when I take Winston for a walk I have to throw the ball for him instead of kicking it which doesn't make any difference to Winston but I miss being able to show off my football skills with the tennis ball. My crohns disease is FINALLY under control but it definitely wouldn't be if I was still working.
Talking of football I'm reading the book "more than a game" that wayne got off ebay really cheap...it's one of the best books I've ever read. Through the development of Australian rules it pretty much describes the entire development of our colony in Victoria, socially and politically etc. There are so many interesting things I've learnt...for example...even back in the 1870's councils and governments were completely out of touch with reality and violently opposed to new ideas (In this case football), also...Melbourne and Geelong had rules written for their code of football before the rules for soccer were written by the English FA. It was really interesting because football was just "one" game and every team had their OWN rules so teams would argue for hours before each match to decide whether they used a round ball or oval ball...and whether you could run with the ball or not. This is why the rules for soccer, aussie rules and rugby developed simultaneously...simply to save all the time preparing for each match.
Probably the scariest thing was that in world war one, Australians had exactly the same attitudes towards "honorable" death as the terrorists in the middle east have now. The upper classes were critical that footballers should be earning money playing football when they should have been enlisting to the army so they could be slaughtered in some foreign location. Also the logic was twisted...in a war where there was enormous fatalities...they were very selective about who was accepted into the army...and I would guess that many of the injuries suffered playing football probably disqualified them from being accepted even though they would have volunteered. I mean why send the strongest people to die...you may as well send the weak since there was no chance of survival anyway!!! So as a compromise players donated almost all their wages to the war effort but as always there was no pleasing fundamentalist psychos who believed that dying was "manly" and "noble". It was also ironic...that the clubs that had money did stop playing...because they could afford to but the poorer clubs that had debts to repay had to keep playing...and were hence labelled "selfish" and "unpatriotic". It's hard to imagine such criticisms happening nowadays...in our pragmatic and money-driven society. I think it's hilarious John Howard wanted kids to "learn" about our "ANZAC tradition". As far as I can tell this "ANZAC tradition" was just one big fucking suicide mission...so it is ironic (or perhaps not?) that in a day and age where people are running around shit scared of suicide bombers...that our leader was trying to foster the same spirit of self-sacrifice and blind-allegiance in our children.
Anyhow I have work to do...more details on what that work is later...but for now you'll have to make do with my political rants.
On the subject of politics I'm going to be making a considerable donation today to these people who are taking Peter Garrett to court for signing off on the 1 billion dollar project to fuck up all the marine life in Port Phillip bay by dredging it...not only destroying the habitat for marine life but also stirring up pollution which will inevitably find it's way onto our beaches and into the foodchain just so they can fill ships with full loads of more imported shit that we don't need.
http://www.bluewedges.org/index.php?page=how_can_i_help
yes, if you needed any proof that the labor party (Both state and federal) are just as much corrupt corporate whores as the liberal party were...then this is it. Yeah I thought things might change for the better back in November...but in December Garrett's signing off on projects like this without even reading the reports. Oh well...I guess if the court case fails we can always go swimming and fishing interstate. Who cares if a few species of marine life get wiped out...how great will it be when they can fill the ships to CAPACITY!
I am filled to capacity with disillusionment. It's a lot harder to chain yourself to a coral reef than it is to a tree. Although the Japanese activists have been doing a good job of stopping the US military building a base on the bay in Okinawa I haven't heard any updates of how they are holding up.
It is also ironic that we are trying to stop Japanese from killing whales for food but our governments have no moral Dilemmas about destroying the habitats of the marine life that the whales need to eat, not to mention stressing the animals with industrial machinery operating in their habitat and making them swim through huge clouds of sediment. I think once the dredging begins the whales will WISH they had been killed by the Japanese. Perhaps John Brumby should be asking the whales to show a bit of "ANZAC spirit" and then the whales can all beach themselves in a re-enactment of the Gallipoli landing. "oh look, how cute...the whales are showing the ANZAC spirit"
As you can see here, dredging is a big business...and it's going on all over the world...ship makers make bigger ships...dredgers make the ocean deeper.
http://www.idredge.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=blogsection&id=36&Itemid=183
Hope everyone had a safe and happy new year....try and get all your fishing done before the dredging starts feb 5! |
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| I tunes is one of the shittest progams ever made...this is partially why |
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| 10:02pm 08/09/2007 |
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To create or use a different iTunes library:
If iTunes is open, quit it.
Hold down the Shift key while you open iTunes (from the Start menu, choose All Programs > iTunes > iTunes).
In the dialog that appears, do one of the following:
■To create a new library, click Create Library.
■To choose a different library, click Choose Library.
i think i'll QUIT it for good and find a "real" program to organize my mp-3 collection. one that actually does LAME encoding and doesn't require new updates installed every second fucking day. |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| Boring life |
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| 06:35pm 28/08/2007 |
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I am happy with my boring life without hayley fucking me around.
Strange things are happening, like things going to plan, me not stressing out about things, getting bills paid, visiting friends, employment opportunities arising, really awesome finds in hard rubbish etc.
Wayno might have a sofa bed to give to me...the boot room is getting organized so I can store my tools and spare computer parts out there and de-clutter my bedroom.
I have managed to teach the cats to stop scratching my couch. It's rather ripped already but no more damage can be done since it's in my room and I keep my room shut when I'm not there.
Took a powerboard that didn't work back to safeway...used the $20 to get a present for wayno. I saw the ultimate present for him on ebay but since I don't have 120 bucks to buy it I got him a new Ween Ep from JB Hi Fi that i'd never seen before instead. PS JB HI fi had the broken tooth - dental records compilation in stock...it was so painful having to leave the store without it.
Tomorrow jamming with tim and working out stuff for his fringe festival show...I will be playing a couple of songs on my organ and do general roadie tasks at other times.
Now I'm gonna meet loscha in the city so I can give him michelle's bithday present and a bottle of portello I got from Traralgon.
Okay gotta go |
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| 06:49pm 25/07/2007 |
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I am unemployable
I'm going to work on making myself more unemployable everyday.
Note to self: domestic violence is unacceptable. Keep mobile on, call police.
I feel more comfortable in libraries than in my own home.
I had a nice poem I wrote...it only has one verse...
When too much goes wrong
And nothing goes right
I paint pictures
With sound and light
I might call it: "Last Bridge Burning"
oh well...
BTW the sy00nytrRRaOm is going to be be sold on turd-bay because I'm never going to be able to afford to post it here and i'm deluding myself into thinking that miracles gonna happen. No more reliance upon miracles to get work done.. from now on I do my own work. |
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Read 11 - Post |
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| DYKO TOUR UPDATE |
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| 02:37pm 24/07/2007 |
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mood:  blank
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I emailed the band ages ago for info about the tour but they didn't get back to me...bloody germans...
anyway I found this...
http://www.goethe.de/ins/au/mel/lhr/sem/en2172321.htm
Sorry I couldn't find this info earlier...I'm ring the goethe institute in sydney today and get the details of the workshops...they listed them as gigs on their myspace but I think they are just for selected schools. I'll ring and ask if the public can come to the melb workshop on the 26th...it would be cool to see them showing kids how to make songs that sound like kraftwerk.
Failing that, the only public appearence is listed is the Federation Square gig on 27th. Three Month sunset is also playing a house party that night too...so I might have to miss that to see Dyko. |
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| Squeeky Super-imposed Voice |
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| 06:32pm 16/07/2007 |
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Oxford Brokehouse is climbing stares
Planting hearing aids in the chairs
Lose me out when I'm left in
Take a photograph on my chin |
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| Did I MMMUA something... |
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| 01:52am 06/07/2007 |
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mood:  cheerful
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cousinokapi and noelx are abandoning their LJ's...letterafterz is complaining no one comments on his emo posts and I have no time to read dreamglotton's intellectually stimulating albeit dense bodies of work. So I'm sensing a trend here from some of the people who came to the meet up...perhaps we liked to meet up in real life because that's how we connect with people best.
This is my theory...you know those cruel deprivation experiments they did on monkeys in the 1960's? The one's where they replaced the baby-monkey's mother with a "surrogate" wire-cage surrounding a milk bottle? Well, that's what the internet community is for some people...it's like a surrogate sense of community. If you are very isolated and unable to express what you feel to the people around you there is a predisposition to rely upon it, and you are inclined to forget that it is simply a means to an end, not an end in itself.
I think all technology has this effect, this theory is not limited to LJ and does not intend to devalue what people get out of the experience...but speaking for myself I feel much more enriched by going out to gigs and sharing an "experience" with like minded people. I feel more connected, and I can feel this with complete strangers...so I am less likely to feel upset with my friends that they won't accompany to me to gigs.
Before when I was feeling very isolated...I was trying to persuade my girlfriend to do things with me...things she wasn't interested in. I never considered that I could just enjoy the experience by myself...Maybe she would make me feel guilty for having an interest outside our relationship, or I was feeling pressured to make her feel that she was being taken into consideration.
But anyway...I've thrown all these neurotic ideas out the window and I'm feeling good just satisfying my desire to spend time with and network with other musicians. It's very good. In the space of a couple of weeks (and with the help of myspace) I have been able to completely reverse my perception...instead of believing that no one wants to hear my music, I now have several people demanding to hear my music performed!!! Basically it's a change of attitude from focusing on the obstacles to focusing on what can be done.
So I guess I am in the process of proving that to change the world you must first change how you perceive the world. Music cannot change the world but your attitude decides how you can interact with your environment...it decides weather you fear life or embrace it.
PS. There is a downside to going out alone...I was in a total panic to get out of the Tote tonight because I feared I'd missed the last tram...in the process of panic I left my special "Puffing Billy railways" hat behind that ladybugoxo got me. Anyway, I worked out a compromise...I got a taxi to the city so I could get a tram home...that way I didn't need to pay for a taxi all the way home...because I couldn't afford it.
I think I need a job or some other form of income if I am to continue going to gigs as often as I'd like to. 20-30 bucks a night is cheap entertainment...but I like too many different genres and types of music...so if I went to 5 gigs a fortnight it would be $100...it's nothing if I was working...but something I can't afford if I'm not. 2/3rds of the cost could be eliminated if I lived on the other side of town...so moving could be another option to consider. Sorry everyone...now I'm sounding like loscha because i'm doing my accounting in my LJ. LMAO!!! I "promise" to post scans of my tax return here when it's done. ;-)
Love to you all and farewell to those who prefer reality.
Earthenware
pps: check out our photoshoot on xjimix's journal if you are visually inclined. major props to ladybugoxo for doing taking the photos of both of us. Cheers to loscha for lending us the camera! http://xjimix.livejournal.com/61124.html#cutid1 |
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uncomfortable